Reality Hackers Net

Back in the good old world of pareidolia, we have a minister who wins the award for seeing something in nothing: Minister sees Jesus in her curtains | 10connects.com | Tampa, St. Petersburg, Clearwater. I mean, I talked about MANY stupid stories with Jesus on toast, Mary in a driveway stain. You name it. It’s all about the same but at least in most of them you can sort of see where there is an optical illusion of a face. In this case, though, I can’t even vouch for that much!

As I’ve also said, though, we know it must be true because 25,000 children starve to death every single day, and hundreds just got killed by a tsunami in the very-Christian Samoa …clearly God must be extremely busy doing something other than helping people in desperate need of a miracle.

Making vague faces on curtains may be the only viable explanation as to why God doesn’t really give a shit about all the suffering in the world – Not even devout believers with dying kids for that matter, as yet another child is sacrificed on the altar of Christian faith healing: Faith-healing parents charged in death of infant son | Philadelphia Daily News | 10/08/2009

On the last day of Kent Schaible’s life, his parents and pastor intensely prayed over his 32-pound body, which, unbeknown to them, was ravaged by bacterial pneumonia.

When the 2-year-old boy finally died at 9:30 p.m. Jan. 24 inside the family’s Northeast Philadelphia home, the pastor called a funeral director to take the boy’s remains to the Philadelphia Medical Examiner’s Office.

Yep, that Jesus, what a comedian! You think he’s going to heal your kid but he’s really going to kill him. Oh what a sense of humor. After all, you’re just doing what HE told you to do, right? But haha, the joke is on you.

You’ve got to think that God and Jesus are just fucking with you when they have you pray for your child to live. They are God, after all, so they already know they aren’t going to do jack shit – they just didn’t bother to tell you about it!

Or you know, maybe that stuff is all just stories people like to tell each other to try to make sense of the world and there is no objective reality involved…. that works really well, too.

News-Dailies Pareidolia

Once again, we have the evidence of God’s mysterious ways. You know, miraculous appearances in stains and grilled cheese but no saving the 25,000 children who starve to death every day: Grounds for hope in a stained coffee mug

“God reveals himself in some very mysterious ways,” we’re told. Indeed, God must be revealing his priorities to us – and his priorities are sick and disgusting.

News-Dailies Pareidolia

Jesus on toast, Mary on a driveway stain, does it never end? No it does not, those religionist comedians just keep coming up with new stuff for the most gullible to ogle: Dallas Couple Sees Jesus Inside Cheese Snack.
And I remind everyone yet AGAIN that these “cheesy” miracles may be the best explanation of why the various gods don’t do anything about 25,000 children starving to death every day. They are just too damn busy appearing in Cheetos.

Truly pathetic.

News-Dailies Pareidolia

It’s been too long since we had any of these delightful stories, so here we go! … Woman: ‘GOD’ Spelled Out In Salami. Yes… or ..um…”GOO” ..take your pick. Clearly this is a great and mighty miracle (or the closest thing YOU’LL ever see!)

But wait, there’s more… Diners report seeing Virgin Mary in food griddle …aka South Of The Border pareidolia — Because there is no barrier to ignorance and/or wide-eyed superstition.

As we have said before, these stories offer the BEST POSSIBLE EXPLANATION as to why a supposedly loving God never bothers to do anything about the 25,000 children who starve to death every single day: He’s just too damn busy! Jesus H.W. Christ, do you expect him to be everywhere or something? Appearing in salami is clearly the most important miracle the Big Guy can pull off.

News-Dailies Pareidolia

Jesus on a rock, again explaining why he doesn’t have any time in his schedule for starving children and sick people. No further comment should be necessary but you’ll see true believers in the comment section of this story: Jesus in Rock: Alabama Woman Sees Image of Jesus in Rock

HUNTSVILLE, ALABAMA – Shirley Maples of Madison County rides along Keel Mountain Road every day. But one day, while making this routine trip, she noticed something out of the ordinary. She says she spotted an image of Jesus Christ in a rock along the side of the road.

News-Dailies Pareidolia

The used car business is known as a gathering place for crooks and liars so why not have Jesus help you clean up your image? Yep, just back from appearing on a creamcheese danish, the J-man is now hawking used cars in Florida: Image at Dade City car dealership is Jesus, some say.

Now as regular readers know, I have often mused on the plight of poor Jesus. After all, we keep him so busy performing low-rent miracles like appearing on toast and driveway stains, it’s no wonder he doesn’t have time to save the 25,000 children who starve to death every day. And yet people like me give him crap for that. The J-ster has to have his priorities, you know!

So get used to the starving kids and all the other suffering in the world; God has his calender filled up with dubious “appearances” all over the world.

And by the way, it’s no better for God’s mom! She doesn’t have time for dying babies, sick moms, suffering teens or anything like that- she’s got yet another “appearance” to do – and she’s booked  solid: ‘Miracle’ in ice? Virgin Mary seen in Plymouth ice formation.

Scoff if you must but it’s no stupider than some of the things you believe in (in all probability).

News-Dailies Pareidolia

Since there are still thousands of children starving to death every day, you just KNEW Jesus had to be busy with something really important. Indeed, appearing in some woman’s kitchen tiles appears to be God the Son’s top priority!

Finding Christ in the kitchen

“Antonia Baker saw the image in the floor of her Lakes home for the first time three years ago during the Christmas season while she was recovering from surgery for an eye injury. Doctors said she had to keep her head down to allow her retina to heal. She wasn’t allowed to read or use the computer, so she had to stare at the floor for three weeks.”

Okay, sure… Jesus is on the woman’s floor… and he can’t get up! Look, if Jesus Christ is/was truly the Son of God, as opposed to just a story or some poor self-deluded fellow, you’d expect some sort of evidence for that, wouldn’t you?? WELL… here you go!

It’s the best you’re ever going to get, so enjoy it.

News-Dailies Beliefs, Pareidolia

In the very long tradition of Jesus on Grilled Cheese and Mary on coffee table stains, Arizona wants to be included: Virgin Mary, Jesus Christ sightings in Valley

“Everyone just stay on the sidewalk,” police told the crowd, “because we’re getting calls from people that can’t get to their houses.”

We just love these religious pareidolia stories; they give us an explanation as to why there is so much suffering in the world. After all, how can you expect God to save the 25,000 children who starve to death every day – or that baby with painful cancer you saw on TV just last night? Clearly, He is too damn busy appearing on sidewalks, cheese sandwiches and driveway stains to worry about insignificant problems like human suffering!

News-Dailies News, Pareidolia

Police and paranoia…or pareidolia… they have more in common than their first letter! Minor news item having some fun with the local gestapo: Burrito Baby (Photo)
Hey, it could have been a terrorist burrito, too! You know what they say, “if it saves one life” and all that…

This is another illustration showing how easily normal people can be fooled/suffer delusions/say and do crazy things – all based on their inner fears and prejudices.

News-Dailies News, Pareidolia

It sure doesn’t take much to get on TV these days, does it? This “news story” is a very rare case of non-Jesus pareidolia: Old man winter pays Northwest a visit — literally! | KOMO News

..in Lake Stevens, it looks like he put in a personal appearance! This icicle was found hanging from Jeremy Olden’s home.

Pareidolia, btw, is the sense of seeing a form that isn’t there; Jesus on toast, The Virgin Mary on a window stain, etc. The tendency to interpret a vague stimulus as something known to the viewer. [ref] It’s an easy way to get publicity if you are morally-challenged.

News-Dailies News, Pareidolia