The Reverend and The Church Boy

Our old friend Ted Haggard makes a return appearance in our Hypocrisy on Parade category. For those who missed this discussion on the old web site, Haggard was a leader in the evangelical community and pastor of the New Life Church, a giant-ass megachurch in Colorado, until a gay prostitute admitted to having sex with – and selling meth to  – the great Reverend Haggard.

Haggard denied most of it, admitting to a single “inappropriate contact.” Oh, and he admitted to buying the Meth but he said he never actually used it … and that must be true because Ted is a Christian and Christians don’t lie.

So anyway, that little episode cost the publicly anti-gay Haggard his mega-church leadership position as well as his position as head of an Evangelical group. But recently he’s been making a bit of a comeback.

Perhaps the new leader of Haggard’s old church now fears being upstaged; Haggard’s return appearances (including an HBO deal) have caused the pastor of New Life Church, Brady Boyd, to reveal that there was a lot more going on than a gay prostitute: Haggard’s little foray into “The Gay” included a long-term relationship with a young male church member…
New Ted Haggard Sex Scandal Revealed The Reverend Boyd says:
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Magic Cheese Investigated

Catholics have magic beads and Mormons have magic underwear (I kid you not) so why not have magic cheese? Apparently, a basic flaw in the reasoning ability of humans causes us to think that ‘my superstition is vastly superior to your silly superstition.’ And yet it’s all irrational crap, isn’t it?

Hey it’s not my idea but it’s not sillier than prayer cloths and Dead Jew crackers: France looks into ‘magic cheese’


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Mississippi Undermines Scientific Literacy, Again

Our semi-sentient friends over at the Christian Post have posted a story about how the Mississippi state legislature is working on putting a disclaimer in scientific textbooks. It’s the same old crap, “evolution is just a theory.”

They fail to understand what the word ‘theory’ means in science – they think it is just some idle speculation. Or, at least they want to think that.

As we have pointed out, evolution is not only FACT but is also accepted as such by the vast majority of religious people from The Pope on down. The only exceptions are the American fundamentalist extremists who can’t stand even the slightest scrutiny applied to their ridiculous literal interpretations of scripture.

Personally, I’d be just as happy to see Mississippi secede and become a little third world, impoverished banana republic. If they would just leave the rest of us alone.

You can read the disclaimer information at the Story link. (Ignorance On Parade Warning) NSFH (Not Safe For Humans)


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Pope Knows Real Virgins From Frauds

Pope Hitler Youth has officially declared a ‘holy war’ against people who claim falsely that the Virgin Mary has appeared to them. If you wanna claim you saw Jesus, I guess he doesn’t really give a crap,  but the Virgin! Well, actually there are some rules about Jesus too, but that wasn’t his main point.

Pope declares ‘holy war’ against people who falsely claim to have seen the Virgin Mary

“He will attempt to snuff out an explosion of bogus heavenly apparitions with new guidelines to help bishops root out frauds.”

We’re not sure exactly how to tell a fraudulent siting from a “real” one but we suspect it has something to do with how much of your income you are giving to the church.

Oh yes, and there will be exorcists employed! We kid you NOT!! Welcome to the 12th century, friends.

You people with your Jesus on Toast and Mary on your driveway stain; you’re in deep $#*) now!  (See the post on witch burnings and you will know your future).


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Witch Killings for God

It’s only been a couple of hundred years since we killed “witches” here in the USA, so don’t you dare look down on these people. And with the help of people like James Dobson, Richard Land and John Hagee, America may soon resume its role as a leader of killing in the name of God.

BBC NEWS PNG tries to halt sorcery murders

“The chairman of the Constitutional Review and Law Reform Commission said defendants were using accusations of witchcraft as an excuse to kill people.

“Police say at least 50 people were killed last year across the country.”


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Christ or Antichrist Gets A Divorce

I wrote about this contemporary Jesus a year or more ago.  I guess since then things have gone downhill for him and now Jesus’ wife wants a divorce..and the church assets.

Now, the interesting thing is not that he claimed to be Christ (or the Antichrist as the case may be) but the fact that people believed him and followed him.  This proving that there is no supernatural claim that is so stupid and ridiculous that nobody would believe you.

Self-proclaimed Antichrist loses bid in divorce court to protect church assets.

“Jose Luis de Jesus Miranda, who gained international notoriety by declaring himself first to be Jesus Christ, then the Antichrist, roundly lost his divorce court bid to protect his church from financial claims by his most recent ex-wife.”


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Scientology Claims Another Victim

Many of you have seen the news reporting on the death of John Travolta’s son, Jett. The early reports mention that the teenager’s death was apparently caused when he had a seizure and struck his head.

A tragic accident. Or was it? Perhaps, but the unspoken contributor to this death was the deranged founder of The Church of Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard.
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First Jesus Sighting of 2009

Since there are still thousands of children starving to death every day, you just KNEW Jesus had to be busy with something really important. Indeed, appearing in some woman’s kitchen tiles appears to be God the Son’s top priority!

Finding Christ in the kitchen

“Antonia Baker saw the image in the floor of her Lakes home for the first time three years ago during the Christmas season while she was recovering from surgery for an eye injury. Doctors said she had to keep her head down to allow her retina to heal. She wasn’t allowed to read or use the computer, so she had to stare at the floor for three weeks.”

Okay, sure… Jesus is on the woman’s floor… and he can’t get up! Look, if Jesus Christ is/was truly the Son of God, as opposed to just a story or some poor self-deluded fellow, you’d expect some sort of evidence for that, wouldn’t you?? WELL… here you go!

It’s the best you’re ever going to get, so enjoy it.


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Lying Is The New Truth

Saying or doing ANYTHING to manipulate you may have been invented by religion, but commercial interests have done a great job of copying the original scamsters. We can infer the bottom line here:

1) If there is anything to be gained by manipulating you, controlling you, getting you to believe things that aren’t true, there will always be a percentage of people who will try anything and everything to accomplish this goal.

2) Even the most ham-handed attempts at lies and manipulation will attract at least SOME believers. The better the liar, the more who believe – but you really don’t have to be good at it.

Of course, commercial advertisers can be fined for making false claims. Religions are kind of like James Bond; he has a license to kill, they have a license to lie.

And then there’s government, where lying is the new truth. But that’s a story for another day….

Happy New Year!

mental_floss Blog » 6 Cases of Shamelessly False Advertising


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Science Vs Religion – In One Image

A simple, concise view of the battle between science and religion…

The story of science and its battle with religion, depicted in one image - CLICK FOR A LARGER VERSION
…Also known as the battle between rational thinking and superstition. Presented for entertainment purposes. Click the image for a larger, more readable version.


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