Pope Hitler Youth has officially declared a ‘holy war’ against people who claim falsely that the Virgin Mary has appeared to them. If you wanna claim you saw Jesus, I guess he doesn’t really give a crap, but the Virgin! Well, actually there are some rules about Jesus too, but that wasn’t his main point.
“He will attempt to snuff out an explosion of bogus heavenly apparitions with new guidelines to help bishops root out frauds.”
We’re not sure exactly how to tell a fraudulent siting from a “real” one but we suspect it has something to do with how much of your income you are giving to the church.
Oh yes, and there will be exorcists employed! We kid you NOT!! Welcome to the 12th century, friends.
You people with your Jesus on Toast and Mary on your driveway stain; you’re in deep $#*) now! (See the post on witch burnings and you will know your future).